It’s not always rainbows and butterflies
It’s compromise that moves us along.
I’m pretty sure everyone of you must have heard of the dysfunctional New Directions Glee Club by now. (Not unless you’ve been living under a pretty huge rock) This vastly different and in a way, dysfunctional group in high school is pretty much a close knitted family. What gels them together is that they are a bunch of misfits in school and they have a similar passion for song.
In the most recent episode of Glee, the two resident divas (Mercedes Jones & Rachael Berry) face off once again in what is called a ‘Diva-off’ to decide who will have lead role in the upcoming school musical in their final year at McKinley High. They both want to graduate on a high note (literally). What was supposed to be a friendly competition turned out to be a disaster for the entire Glee club. Something that was so very special to every single misfits of the school. Similar people that made feel special and wanted.
The fact that a group of people can bond over common fate is astounding in itself. In my previous post, I’ve discussed how hard it is for two individuals (even with loads of similarities) to make it work. Imagine making a group of 10 individuals (Glee Club) work. But in reality, that is how it its. We often go out with friends in groups of 4 or more friends and it is such an irony that we are able to pull off such a feat when we find it just so darn hard to make a couple relationship work. In a group, we have to make much more compromises and strike a balance in maintaining peace in by trying to accommodate everyone.
What made the Glee Club work out so well, even when they have 10 members in their group, is that everyone was able to take on a role that allowed them to have stake in the group, akin to owning shares in a company. Well, not till the latest episode where Mercedes, one of the two Divas, left the Glee Club for a newly formed rival club in the school because of a fall-out with Rachael, the other Diva. She said something along the lines of “It ain’t gonna be the Rachael Berry Show around here anymore. It’s time for the Mercedes Jones Show”. But is it really due to the ‘conflict’ that was going on OR has has a new Mercedes emerged and the old self that everyone loved was gone? Is it a case of excessive personal needs to the extent of comprising group dynamics or simply ‘no one understands me’ mentality? From this video, you probably will be able to judge for yourself.
The phenomemen of the alpha persona in every group is inevitable. Someone HAS to step forth and take control of the group’s directions and how it functions, basically, the dynamics. Like how every tribe needs a leader, so does any other group.
Its very ambiguous how we form groups in reality and how we accept new people into our close knit circles of friends. How do we deem that someone is ‘worthy’ of being part of our group or are we passing superficial judgements based on first impressions? Perhaps we base it on how they can contribute to the group dynamics and how he can be useful since everyone has a specific role to play, based on his personality or character, to maintain positive group dynamics. Once initiated into the group, it will be an endless claw up the hierarchy of the group in a mostly futile attempt to occupy the top dog seat. Either that or they will try to take on a role in the group that they think they are capable of doing and if its taken up, it will be another fight to get that role. So, its definitely not rainbows and butterflies but more like cloudy with 100% chance of thunderstorm in every group relationship where everyone wants to outdo everyone, either blatantly or done in secrecy. Sad, but it is the brutal truth. Though emerging from the storm scarred, we grow stronger and wiser. After all, what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. Right?
But you can try your best but sometimes everything seems to fail and not work out. What do you do then? Find another group and try to fit in? Pull a couple of friends together to form a clique? You might get what you want but not what you need.
When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?